God Quests Arthur

from The Holy Grail

Bedevere: And that, my leige, is how we know the earth to be of a girly shapement.

Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again, how sheep's bladders can be employed to prevent earthquakes.

Bedevere: Oh, certainly, Sir. You see,...

(Thunder)

(the clouds open and a giant animated face is seen. It speaks:)

God: Aaaarthur... Aarthur, King of the Britons...

(the knights fall to their knees)

God: Oh don't grovel!

Arthur: Sorry, Lord...

God: And DON'T apologize!! Every time I try to talk to somebody, its "I'm sorry" this and "forgive me" that and "I'm not *worthy*"... It's like those miserable Psalms--they're soooo depressing!

Arthur: Yes, Lord.

God: What're you doing now?

Arthur: Averting my eyes, o Lord.

God: Well KNOCK IT OFF!

Arthur: Yes, Lord.

God: Right. Arthur, King of the Britons, I have decided to set you a task as an example in these dark times.

Arthur: Good idear, o Lord!

God: (thunder) 'COURSE IT'S A GOOD IDEA! Now: this is the Holy Grail.

(giant picture of a golden, jewel-encrusted grail appears in the sky)

(heavenly music)

Look well, Arthur: It is your mission to seek this Grail. That is your purpose, Arthur: The Quest for the Holy Grail!

(the clouds slam shut.)

Arthur: A blessing! A blessing from the Lord!

Lancelot: God be praised!